The Gift of "Choice"

 by Mary Jo Wehniainen

Most of us never stop to realize that our life is the way it is because of the choices we make every minute of every day. Some choices are very obvious, i.e., when you’re choosing what to order at a restaurant, what color carpet to buy, etc. But most choices are much subtler, and we probably don’t even realize we were making them. EVERYTHING WE DO IS BY CHOICE! However, sometimes days, weeks, months or even years can go by while we’re on "auto-pilot" and don’t even realize we have a choice about anything. In other words, we feel like "this is just the way it is", as if we’re dealing with a force outside ourselves. We desire great change in many areas, but the thought of it seems overwhelming – and we haven’t a clue where to start.

The change you desire is within your reach right now! The most effective way of making lasting, necessary changes in your life is to realize that your life is filled with choices! Every thought you have, every word you speak, every action you take, and the condition of your personal surroundings are "choices" you make without even thinking about it.

I challenge you to begin noticing the choices you make on a daily basis. In doing so, you will see opportunities to make things different, little by little, without much effort at all.

Let’s take a look at a typical day, and notice all of the choices you make.

Do you wake up to a blaring alarm clock or to soothing music? Is the house "picked up" or do you wake up to a mess from the night before? Do you give yourself time to do what you need to do in a leisurely manner, or are you rushed the minute your feet hit the floor?

What do you have for breakfast? Do you grab something and eat on the run? Do you eat things you don’t really enjoy? How much more effort would it take to eat something you really like? What would it be like to sit down and eat peacefully?

What do you choose to wear? Have you noticed that some things you wear make you feel better than others? Why choose anything that you don’t feel really good in, even if you stay home all day? Is your closet filled with things you don’t like and don’t feel good in? If so, why don’t you get rid of those things and only keep the ones you really love --- even if you need to wear them more often?

Do you always look your best no matter where you’re going, or even if you’re just staying home? Ladies, do you put on your makeup so you feel your best, or if you choose not to wear makeup, do you look neat, clean and "on purpose"?

What do you do in the morning? If it’s a nice day outside, do you take a minute to go out and breathe fresh air? If you drive to work, do you give yourself plenty of time or do you feel as though you’re in a race? If you need to go shopping, can you choose one location over another – and if so, do you chose the one that brings you the most pleasure?

When you get in your car, does it bring you peace, or are you surrounded by lots of junk and trash that you haven’t cleaned out? Can you take just a minute to shake the leaves off the floor mats and put the trash in a bag so you can throw it away before you leave? Would that make you feel more "together"?

What do you eat for lunch? If you work in an office, do you get away from your desk and go to a place you enjoy being? If you’re home, do you prepare something you enjoy, and then sit down and enjoy it?

What are your afternoons like? If you’re at work and you have an afternoon "slump", what do you do? Grab a candy bar or cup of coffee to perk you up, or step out of your office (store, restaurant, etc.) for a few minutes? How about at home? What do you do to get your adrenaline going or your "head" together? Something detrimental like eating sweets, or do you take a quick walk, drive, or give yourself permission to take a power-nap? It’s amazing how rejuvenating any of those can be!

What about dinner? Do you set the table and allow yourself time to sit and relax as you eat?

What about your evening activities? Do you spend that time on things you really enjoy, or are you in a rut? What about hobbies you love --- do you make time for those? If you have children, are you spending quality time with them? Do you feel a sense of balance as you make these decisions, or do you feel "out of control"? Remember that anything you’re presently involved in is the result of a choice you made at one time. You may now choose to say "no"!

What about your bedtime ritual? Do you enjoy this part of the day as well, and send yourself off into sleep peacefully with a smile on your face because things are taken care of, or do you just fall asleep without any formal closure to the day?

Here are some general things to consider. Do you smile most of the time, or do you walk around with a frown? Are your surroundings neat, orderly and pleasant, or is everything a mess? Do you have peaceful music or background noise whenever possible, or is the television always blaring? Do you often find yourself in situations where you’re agitated or frustrated, or have you arranged your life in such a way to avoid that as much as possible?

Sometimes our "choice" is a decision about our attitude. We may find ourselves in a situation we don’t have too much control of. At those times, the only things we can control are our thoughts, our reactions and our attitude. Your attitude can make all the difference in the world as to the ultimate outcome of a situation.

So, did you see some things that you were doing (or not doing) on "auto-pilot" without even realizing you were making a "choice"?

What if you stopped to think about everything before you did it? What would happen if you didn’t do anything unless you were very "clear" that YOU were "choosing" it?

Some of you may feel overwhelmed and not sure where to start. If this is the case, I urge you to relax and take one "choice" at a time. Make a conscious decision about everything you do and every thought you have, and you will see things change. You’ll begin to feel more "in control" and will notice things you didn’t see before that can make a huge difference. You’ll then begin to look at "bigger" choices that will really make an impact in your life! You’ll even begin making changes in how you relate to people, and automatically start putting boundaries in place because you don’t "choose" to have things continue the way they’ve been going.

It will actually seem easy when you begin to look at each "choice" individually as it comes up!

During the year for birthdays and especially the holidays, while everyone else is busy getting others gifts, make sure you give yourself the most important gift, and one that’s FREE!

THE GIFT OF CHOICE!

I wish you ultimate freedom, fulfillment and enjoyment in everything you do!