Don’t Believe What You See

 by Mary Jo Wehniainen

It’s funny how we go through life thinking that our perception of something is how it really is. I know that may sound a little like mumbo-jumbo, but think about it. Without even giving a second thought, we’re pre-programmed to think that the way we see things or our opinion of things is the truth.

This month I want to challenge you to begin to look for alternatives to how you think something is – or how it has to remain! In other words, challenge your own limiting beliefs.

To help you understand what I’m getting at, I’m going share a personal example that’s been happening for me these past few weeks. (This is not a new concept to me, and I’ve been doing this kind of "work" for a long time. Nevertheless, there are usually things right before our eyes that escape our attention. This was one of those instances for me.)

I’ve been living with my husband and five children in the same home for the past eight years. We’re outgrowing it, and one of the most exciting things we’re looking forward to in the near future is moving to a new home. We’re currently in the process of choosing the geographical location, type of house, number of rooms, etc. In the meantime, our thoughts about our current home (even though it’s a very nice home) are that there are things we’re putting up with. We keep talking about the "new house" and can hardly wait to move so these irritations will change.

Although I coach people all the time to begin living their dreams now … in other words, make your life now as much like your dream life as possible …. I’ve been living in my current home "looking forward to the new home" rather than doing everything within my power to make the current home as much like my dream home as possible – even though I thought I had!

Once again, I have already done excessive work in this area. All the rooms are lovely, professionally decorated, hardly any clutter, visually pleasing. But there were still a couple of areas I’d been unconsciously putting up with for a long time. Without realizing it, I’d classified those areas as "out of my jurisdiction", and relinquished all responsibility.

The garage and the attic were two big ones. Those were my husband’s areas ….. I didn’t give them any of my mental or physical attention. Two other areas were the furthest border of our backyard, and a large piece of our property that was sectioned off for our golden retriever.

What has happened within the last two weeks is in my opinion nothing short of "miraculous". I’ll do my best to express it to you in the hopes that you will identify areas in your life where you’ve been "blinded" -- and where you can make changes that will help move you closer to your ideal life.

First we tackled the attic and garage. Although they’ve both been de-cluttered many times, there was still a lot of stuff that has accumulated since we were married fourteen years ago. Things that at one time had sentimental value but no longer do; things we thought we might need someday but never use; items we felt compelled to save for one reason or another.

Over the Memorial Day weekend we had a huge yard sale, sold lots of our history, and then donated the rest to the Salvation Army. Many of the items were really good, just not "us" any more! It took us a week to go through everything prior to the sale, and I’m happy to say that although we’ve gone through our things many times before, this time we were finally "ruthless".

It’s amazing how energized we are now knowing that the only "stuff" we have is "stuff" we really want – and "stuff" we love! We’ve deliberately created the "space" for what we really want our life to be like! (I’m not talking about literal space, although we do have much more of that. I’m talking about mental space, emotional space, and almost an "energy"!)

Now about our yard. So much of it is already gorgeous. We have lots of lovely bushes, flowering plants, a vegetable garden, and all of those areas are meticulously mulched, weeded and groomed. But there were two other areas that we didn’t want to own up to. The very back of the yard where our children’s playground equipment is … and the part of the yard where our dog Rusty’s been living. The first area was just not pleasing to look at; the latter was down right ugly!

I don’t know how to say this any other way but that "it was not in our consciousness to do anything about it". It was something we were putting up with without even realizing it. I’d look at it, know I hated how it was, but didn’t really know what I could do about it. I didn’t have a clue what to do, where to start, etc. It was as if I didn’t stop to think that I had a choice in the matter!

The big change began when our neighbor was clearing out his yard and pulled up several large, lovely azalea bushes and asked if we’d like them. My thoughts immediately went to one corner of the yard I’d been disgusted with. The bushes might be perfect! We gratefully received this timely gift.

A funny thing happened while I was outside deciding exactly how they should be positioned. I looked at the children’s playset and saw something I never saw before. We could make a border around it and mulch the entire play area! Wow! Where did that idea come from? It wasn’t profound or anything, but just never occurred to me before. It’s like my creative juices were flowing and the energy I gained from clearing out the attic and garage was causing the entire process to pick up momentum!

To make a long story short ….. the azaleas have found a lovely new home, with lots of flowers around them, all gloriously landscaped and mulched. The playground is now a happy, beautiful, and perfectly pleasant place to be. (I’ve even enjoyed swinging with my kids the past several days. I’m not sure why they were laughing so hard, though!) The entire border of our property is edged and mulched with more beautiful flowering plants and bushes. The natural landscaping (weeds) between our back fence and our neighbor’s back fence which I was formerly extremely disgusted about now form a beautiful lush backdrop, and look very "on purpose"!

And about the ugly place where Rusty lived, well, we removed the white picket fence that sectioned this area off, and decided to face the final traitor to our true identity. (Up to this point it never even occurred to us that we could take down the fence and make that area part of the rest of our yard. Why not? Because we were stuck right in the middle of our own limiting beliefs!) We went into the area, cleaned it up, filled up the holes, planted grass seed, and edged it with flowers and bushes to match the rest of our yard. The concrete company is even coming in the next several days to put in a patio where our children can play basketball! Our yard is now a very peaceful, pleasing place to be … every nook and cranny. I’ve even noticed my four-year-old daughter skipping through the yard when she’s outside. She’s never done that before! Apparently she can sense something different too!

Even though we’re still in the same home, we might feel just as good as we’ll feel when we’re in our new home. The funny thing about it is that all the care we’ve taken to make our current home lovely will cause the perfect circumstances to fall into place quicker to expedite our move. Keeping it the way it was would have kept us here longer! Funny how all of this works…

Now it’s your turn. What areas of your life are you not seeing clearly? What limiting beliefs have kept you living "less" than best for you? It could be a relationship, part of your physical environment, an unhealthy habit, etc. Something you’ve been on "auto-pilot" about – or an area where you’ve felt like you had no choice.

Begin to pay closer attention to everything that goes on around you and see what you’ve been putting up with. Take time to look at things you hadn’t seen before and deliberately let your mind wander about how it could be. Give yourself permission to take care of whatever it is, knowing that the time and energy you spend now will come back in the form of peace, joy and contentment as never before. You’ll definitely end up with a tremendous amount of energy as well! Whether you’re a stay-at-home mom, a business owner or an employee, you’ll also probably notice a renewed sense of power and ability, with more creative ideas that you ever thought possible. You’ll feel more in control of your life in all areas!

After spending some time with these thoughts yourself, I’d love to hear what happens for you. We can rejoice together over your "miracles"!